


Internal Affairs

by faithinthepoor



Series: Rizzoli and Isles [7]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 18:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during When the Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang</p>
            </blockquote>





	Internal Affairs

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [Body of Evidence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621139), [Locard’s Principle](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621144), [Sex Crimes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621154), [Post-Mortem](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621169), [M'Naghten Rules](http://archiveofourown.org/works/622535) and [Genetic Markers](http://archiveofourown.org/works/622575)

She is sure she is going to die. That they are all going to die. She was meant to be ok with that outcome. Meant to be trained to deal with that possibility. It turns out that she can’t accept it. It’s not such a surprise. She had already shown that she wasn’t prepared to accept Frankie’s death so why should Maura’s be any different? In a way she could write that recreation off under the heading of to serve and protect. What is a surprise is how she feels about her own impending doom.

This is not the first time she has looked death in the eye. The scars on her hands are a testament to her slow dance with the grim reaper. She hasn’t calmly accepted her fate, she’s still here after all, but she knows that she is marked and that the day is coming. This time it’s different. This time she is not ok that today might be the day.

Jane has heard people talking about the importance of having someone to live for but she has always felt that it was much nobler to die for someone. Right now there are two people in the room that she would lay down her life for and yet all she wants to do is live. She is so angry that she could spit. Angry with the world, angry with the rogue cop and angry with herself. If she dies here she will die without ever telling Maura that she loves her and that is simply unacceptable.

It doesn’t matter what she thinks or how she feels. The odds are against her and there is nothing she can do to change the outcome. So much for all of her training, it is going to let her down when she needs it most. 

She has been letting herself down a lot today. It feels like a lifetime ago but it was only this morning that she woke up in Maura’s bed with the glow that one gets from too little sleep and too much sex. 

Maura wasn’t in the bed. Jane knew that before she went to reach for her. Maura Isles has a ridiculously small idea of personal space at the best of times but it disappears altogether when she is asleep. Jane often awakes to find Maura coiled around her like a python. 

The aroma of percolated, and likely imported, coffee wafted its way into the bedroom and she decided that it was time to go in search of the source. She found Maura in the kitchen reading the paper. Maura was immaculately dressed and did not have a single hair out of place. Jane couldn’t see how that was possible. 

“How do you do that?” Jane asked.

“Do what?”

“That!” Jane pointed at Maura.

“Jane you are going to need to be a little more specific.”

“It was almost dawn when we finally went to bed.”

“That’s simply not true.”

“I swear the sky was beginning to lighten.”

“No I mean that we went to bed long before that. As I recall I barely got myself through the door before you dragged me in there.”

“Fine Little Miss Pedantic, it was nearly dawn when we went to _sleep_.”

“That is a more accurate representation of the evening.”

“And because I am accurate I know that there was not enough time between us going to sleep and now for you to look as stunning as you do.”

“You think I look stunning?” Maura put her paper down and sat up straighter in her chair. 

“You can’t be surprised. You must know how good you look.”

“I know how I feel about my appearance but I am much more interested in learning what you think.” Maura ran a hand over her dress and Jane could help but compare her to a preening peacock.

“You are a beautiful woman Maura. That goes without saying. What I don’t understand is where you find the time make yourself look so put together.” Jane went over and claimed the chair next to Maura’s. She tried to pull the paper over so that they could read it together but Maura kept it firmly in place.

` “You don’t have time for that. You need to get dressed.”

“Maura it takes me less then five minutes to get ready. Let me look at the paper.”

“It will take a lot more than five minutes. You have to get home and even if you leave right now you are going to be cutting it fine.”

“I was planning on getting ready here,” Jane tried to slide her hand around Maura’s arm in order to gain access to the paper.

“You have nothing clean here. I tried to tell you that we needed to do washing last night but you seemed to think that other things were more important.”

“I don’t recall you questioning my priorities at the time. In fact you seemed effusively supportive of my plan.” 

“It was a good plan,” Maura admitted, “but it had consequences and now you have to deal with them.”

“I really don’t. I can just wear something that I have here.”

“Jane you are not wearing something that hasn’t been properly laundered.”

“Don’t tell me that the woman who could be hired as the spokesperson for sex is uncomfortable with me doing the walk of shame.”

“It’s always shameful to neglect matters of hygiene. I don’t see what that has to do with sex,” the puzzled look on Maura’s face was adorable.

“The walk of shame is all about sex. It means you’ve spent the night with someone and have to wear the same clothes the next morning.”

“Jane I would have no problem with people knowing that you were with me last night and that this was why you were wearing the same outfit back to work but I have a very large problem with people thinking that I let you leave my place in clothes that aren’t clean.”

“You wouldn’t be able to stop me. I could wrestle you to the ground without breaking a sweat.”

“If you did it would be the last wrestling with me of any sort that you would do for some time. It’s up to you Jane. You don’t have to go home and get changed but unless you do you won’t be seeing me tonight.”

She had no idea what to say to that. Jane thought her mother was a master of manipulation but Angela Rizzoli could learn a lot from Maura. “Fine,” she grumbled, “I’ll go home.”

“Good decision,” Maura said with a grin.

“Can I at least finish my coffee first?”

“You can do want you want but don’t blame me if you’re late for work.”

“I’m going. I’m going.”

Maura followed her to the door and grabbed her hand as she was about to depart. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

“I didn’t just do it for you. I believe I am going to be getting something tonight.”

“I still love that you are doing this,” she rewarded Jane with a kiss, “I love you.”

In retrospect she should have handled that moment differently but it had felt too soon to be issuing ‘I love yous’ and the only thing that she had said in reply was, “I’ll see you tonight.”

To be facing death after such a mistake makes the situation so much more unpalatable. She wants to find a way to save them so that she can make things up to Maura but there is nothing that she can do. Thankfully the same can not be said for Maura. Jane knows that she should have been the one to rescue them but it doesn’t bother her in the slightest that she’s not the hero. The only thing that matters is Maura’s shapely leg as it presses down on the walkie-talkie and calls in the cavalry. She has never wanted to kiss anyone so much in her life.

It seems impossible but life is going to give her a second chance that she doesn’t deserve. She promises God right there and then that she will do everything that she can to be worthy of this gift. There will be no complaints when her mother wants her to come over for a family dinner or go to church. She will even wear dresses if that’s what it takes. High heals, makeup and her mother’s nagging seem a small price to pay for having the chance to get to tell Maura how she feels.

Frankie is still gravely injured but right now that seems like a minor inconvenience. There is no way that he is going to make anything other than a full recovery. He has had Dr Maura Isles work on him and any other outcome is simply impossible.

She takes in a deep breath as she realises that it’s over and they are safe. For a moment it is all sunshine and rainbows and expensive bottles of champagne that Maura would need to chose and probably need to buy. Sadly Bobby didn’t get the memo because he still believes that he can save himself. 

As he uses her as a human shield she knows his plan is folly but she can also feel each grain of sand as it falls through the hourglass. Time is running out and time is something that Frankie Jr does not have to spare. Maura may have saved the day and sealed Bobby’s fate but it wasn’t too late for Bobby to add Frankie to the tally of dead. Jane can’t allow that to happen, she knows she to act.

Everything seems too bright and too loud. As though nothing is real and everything is happening in slow motion. Everything except her thoughts. Images and memories flash through her brain at the speed of light, too fast for her to hold on to any of them. This has never happened before and she knows what it means. This is her time. Her life is flashing before her eyes. This time it’s real.

She feels resigned to her fate. Her life is inconsequential if in losing it she can protect everyone she loves. This isn’t like it was in the morgue where her death would have also meant the death of her brother and her lover. She calls up Maura’s face and tries to hold it in focus. She wants it to be the last thing that she thinks of before she dies. 

If it’s possible to be glad of anything at such a time she is glad that Maura isn’t here to see what is about to happen. It’s a small mercy but she’ll take what she can get. 

Jane grabs for the gun and feels Bobby struggle against her. She has no time to think of placement of wounds or of a trajectory that might be fatal to Bobby and not to her. There is nothing to do except fire and hope the bullet exits her with enough velocity to take him down.

She doesn’t feel the bullet enter but she feels her skin begin to burn. Two blinding points of white hot fire have appeared on her body. They are very out of place because the rest of her is bitterly cold. Her limbs continue to get heavier and colder as she falls to the ground. A black veil falls over her vision and she knows there is no point in fighting the cold. She needs to go with it and then she will never be cold again.

Peace is upon her until she hears Maura scream her name. It changes everything and it makes her want to fight because Maura was not meant to see her die. It suddenly seems ridiculous to have shot herself. She feels she acted in haste and that there had to be another solution because this is not how it was meant to end. Her thoughts are pointless though because she can’t change anything. They are too little and too late.


End file.
